The Speedo Mullet - Business in front, Party down below.

The Speedo Mullet - Business in front, Party down below.

I wear a speedo to show off my pubes.  In case you were wondering, also a handlebar.

I wear a speedo to show off my pubes.  In case you were wondering, also a handlebar.

I don’t know who has the better view.  Me, or the person who took this picture.  Meow.

I don’t know who has the better view.  Me, or the person who took this picture.  Meow.

Too young to be in this blog.  Too Speedo-y not to be.

Too young to be in this blog.  Too Speedo-y not to be.

Donny Deutsch?  Jose Canseco?  Either way, great balls.

Donny Deutsch?  Jose Canseco?  Either way, great balls.

I’m fat.  My balls are snug.  Win, win.

I’m fat.  My balls are snug.  Win, win.

My name is Giorgio Armani.  I know style.  And I have a dick.  Look at it.  Stare at it.  Love it.  Now you can consider yourself stylish, too.

My name is Giorgio Armani.  I know style.  And I have a dick.  Look at it.  Stare at it.  Love it.  Now you can consider yourself stylish, too.

This is my way of saying fuck you America!

This is my way of saying fuck you America!

I’m in great shape.  You can tell by the pointiness of my dick.

I’m in great shape.  You can tell by the pointiness of my dick.

I’m going to catch a big one and jam it into this speedo between my humongous balls.

I’m going to catch a big one and jam it into this speedo between my humongous balls.